Week 10 Picks

Posted: November 11, 2011 by mzyohai in Jets, NFL, Patriots, Picks

Glory. Pure. Unadulterated. Glory.

As the winner of last week’s picks, I have the honor and privilege of introducing this week’s picks by way of demonstrating the unfathomable superiority of my manhood in written form.

But, I would be off my rocker if I didn’t remind you, Nicholas, that not only did you lose last week’s picks, but the Patriots lost to the New York Football Giants (no Manning-face there) while the Jets creamed the Bills (skeet, skeet, skeet!). I bet you’re pissing your pants just so you can feel something warm and comforting at this point.

The best part of this week has been that your texts, e-mails, and posts have pretty much sound had the sort of maniacal, depressive, insanity of The Shining… Simpsons version of course.

Oh wait, I must have totally forgotten that the best part of this week was being able to smile every time I saw the word “Jets.” Or any time I saw the color green. And the uncontrollable urge to keel over laughing whenever I saw a Boston sports logo. Right now, they all suck. The Celtics are a geriatric ward. The Red Sox managed to make the Mets look well-managed. The Patriots look like a balloon that was just popped and is whizzing around the field until it nosedives into a heap of useless rubber. (Well, all rubbers are really useless… zing!) And you, Nick, are just a collection of sports misery. Perhaps the prophecy is coming true: “And you shall behold the Gaelic City on the Coast imploded by athletes and covered in clam chowder.” Nostradamus… why didn’t we listen!?

Until next week, when I again dominate Nick in sports betting prowess, here are our picks of the week. (Looks like we’re both off to a bad start… Oakland loses to Denver last week and then beats San Diego? How does that make sense? Oh right, Tebow has God on his side.)

Oakland Raiders at San Diego Chargers

Mike: Chargers (-7)

Nick: Chargers (-7)

Arizona Cardinals at Philadelphia Eagles

Mike: Cardinals (+14)

Nick: Eagles (-14)

Pittsburgh Steelers at Cincinnati Bengals

Mike: Steelers (-4)

Nick: Steelers (-4)

Jacksonville Jaguars at Indianapolis Colts

Mike: Jaguars (-3)

Nick: Jaguars (-3)

Denver Broncos at Kansas City Chiefs

Mike: Denver (+3)

Nick: Kansas City (-3)

Buffalo Bills at Dallas Cowboys

Mike: Bills (+5.5)

Nick: Bills (+5.5)

Tennessee Titans at Carolina Panthers

Mike: Panthers (-2.5)

Nick: Panthers (-2.5)

Washington Redskins at Miami Dolphins

Mike: Dolphins (-4)

Nick: Dolphins (-4)

St. Louis Rams at Cleveland Browns

Mike: Rams (+3)

Nick: Rams (+3)

New Orleans Saints at Atlanta Falcons

Mike: Saints (+1)

Nick: Falcons (-1)

Houston Texans at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Mike: Texans (-3.5)

Nick: Texans (-3.5)

Baltimore Ravens at Seattle Seahawks

Mike: Ravens (-6.5)

Nick: Ravens (-6.5)

Detroit Lions at Chicago Bears

Mike: Lions (+3)

Nick: Bears (-3)

New York Giants at San Francisco 49ers

Mike: Giants (+3.5)

Nick: 49ers (-3.5)

New England Patriots at New York Jets

Mike: Jets (-2)

Nick: Pats (+2)

Minnesota Vikings at Green Bay Packers

Mike: Packers (-13)

Nick: Packers (-13)

Mark Sanchez (NYJ) Total Passing Plays:

Mike: Under (34.5)

Nick: Over (34.5)

Last Week’s Results (Overall Record)

Mike: 10-4 (10-5)

Nick: 8-6 (8-7)


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