The Third Roommate: Ochocinco on Race Relations

Posted: November 22, 2011 by ndbohlen in Chad Ochocinco, NFL, Patriots
Tags: , ,

Nick: “I’m Chad and i’m a black guy, your name is Ryan and we are friends now RT @ryangray: @ochocinco can you tweet something cool to me Chad?”

“We’re both black? RT @FantasticNicki: @ochocinco for some strange reason I thought you were T.O. wonder where that confusion came from?”

“That makes us an Oreo RT @MichiganIsBest: I’m Joseph and I’m a white guy. You are Chad and you are a black guy. We are friends on twitter.”

I can’t decide whether our roommate is taking race relations forward or back. Maybe he has taken the torch from MLK and Malcolm X and is just trying not to burn himself.

Mike: Our often-cryptic, yet always wise third roommate appears to have left us some clues to figure out whether he is a campaigner for civil rights or merely a black George Wallace…

First, T.O., Ochocinco, and all black people are indistinguishable according to Ochocinco.

Second, “You and Chad and you,” two people can become three until — “are a black guy,” — they all become one, indistinguishable blob because of their race.

Either way, I’m pretty sure that Washington D.C. will erect a statue in honor of our roommate in the near future. It will be the only edifice allowed to tower over the Capitol Building. It will be the only statue in D.C. that bears the image of a living human. But you won’t be able to tell that it is Ochocinco. The engraving will read, “A Black Guy… Maybe Ochocinco… Or Maybe T.O., We Can’t Tell. Nor Could He.”

Nick: I think people will tend to assume it’s T.O., if only because he might as well be dead or missing for all he’s worth to any team in the NFL. Seriously, not even the Broncos are interested in signing him.

But then again, those people would just be missing the point of the statue. Dude, there is no color or difference. We’re all one people, man.

Mike: I thought the point of the statue was the commemorate Ochocinco’s contributions to the 2011 Pats offense. Remember? The black hole where completions and athleticism disappear and travel to a parallel universe in which Ochocinco invited us into his house.

He still sucks, though… that’s a universal truth that transcends time, space, and even paradigms of reality.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s