Week 16 Picks

Posted: December 24, 2011 by ndbohlen in NFL, Picks
Tags: , ,

Hey! I actually won! I get to write this of my own merit, not some crappy and/or deceitful mathematics by Michael. It figures I best Michael in a week where the winless Colts somehow pull off a victory and the perfect Packers fall to a team that had been outscored by 90 points in its last six games.

Wait. Did I just compare myself to the 2-13 Colts and equate Mike with the 13-1 Packers? Fuck! Poor planning in the analogy department on my part.

Then again, the Colts did just go on a two-game winning streak, beating one fringe playoff team (the Titans) and one actual playoff team (the Texans). As the Colts orchestrate a late-season surge, could it be a sign that I am destined to make a run in these next two weeks to wrest a comeback win from Michael’s clammy-handed clutches? Snatch a victory from the jaws of defeat, and all those Rocky montage clichés? Some Patriots headgear to serve as protection while I’m out drinking would be a nice belated Christmas gift.

Sadly, though, I think the Packers will handle Josh McCown (Caleb Hanie is saying 40 Hail Mary’s to repay God for answering his prayers of not ending up like that guy in the Clay Matthews Fathead commercial) and won’t have to try in Week 17. But lucky for me, every analogy breaks down at some point, and this one certainly falls apart once Michael is mentioned in the same breath as “perfection.”

For all his bragging and bravado, the man still hasn’t gotten more than 9 picks correct in one week (only yours truly has achieved the distinction of reaching double-digits), he’s sitting  just four games ahead of me, and he stands at just 5’9″ (and that’s his “listed” height, as if he were on a professional sports team and they were too embarrassed to acknowledge his actual measurements).

In other words, if Clint Eastwood were to ask: Yeah, I am feeling lucky. Punk.

See you here same time next week.

Without further ado, our Week 16 picks:

Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts

Mike: Texans (-6)

Nick: Texans (-6)

Oakland Raiders at Kansas City Chiefs

Mike: Raiders (+2.5)

Nick: Raiders (+2.5)

Denver Broncos at Buffalo Bills

Mike: Broncos (-3)

Nick: Broncos (-3)

Jacksonville Jaguars at Tennessee Titans

Mike: Jaguars (+7.5)

Nick: Titans (-7.5)

Arizona Cardinals at Cincinnati Bengals

Mike: Cardinals (+4)

Nick: Cardinals (+4)

Miami Dolphins at New England Patriots

Mike: Dolphins (+9.5)

Nick: Patriots (-9.5)

Cleveland Browns at Baltimore Ravens

Mike: Ravens (-12.5)

Nick: Ravens (-12.5)

New York Giants at New York Jets

Mike: Jets (-3)

Nick: Giants (+3)

Minnesota Vikings at Washington Redskins

Mike: Vikings (+6.5)

Nick: Redskins (-6.5)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Carolina Panthers

Mike: Buccaneers (+7.5)

Nick: Panthers (-7.5)

St. Louis Rams at Pittsburgh Steelers

Mike: Rams (+12.5)

Nick: Rams (+12.5)

San Diego Chargers at Detroit Lions

Mike: Chargers (+2.5)

Nick: Chargers (+2.5)

San Francisco 49ers at Seattle Seahawks

Mike: 49ers (-2.5)

Nick: 49ers (-2.5)

Philadelphia Eagles at Dallas Cowboys

Mike: Eagles (+1.5)

Nick: Eagles (+1.5)

Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers

Mike: Packers (-12)

Nick: Packers (-12)

Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints

Mike: Saints (-6.5)

Nick: Saints (-6.5)

Last Week’s Results (Overall Record)

Mike: 7-7-2 (59-45-4)

Nick: 8-6-2 (55-49-4)

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