Posts Tagged ‘Hakeem Nicks’

It’s been a long time since we were here, Nick. Remember the good old days when we used to pick against the spread? Well, let me clarify, I would pick correctly against the spread and Nick would have done better to pick according to whether a Jaguar could take down a Dolphin in the wild. But the NFL’s postseason, unfortunately, is not determined by whose fans are better at gambling. Now I have to watch the Jets’ nemesis play their cross-town rival in the biggest game of the year.

Since this year’s Super Bowl will be an absolutely horrible experience for me regardless of the outcome, and since Nick has an insatiable thirst for sports gambling, he and I have put together a couple of ‘prop’ bets so that I have something to root for and Nick can potentially sweeten the experience of watching the Pats in the Super Bowl by winning some money.

So here they are folks, Roommate Rivals’ Super Bowl XLVI Props:

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Nick: Sooooo, how about that Jets defense, huh?

Mike: Really? Your first swipe is at the Jets defense?

Nick: Of course my first swipe is at your defense! I expect your offense to stumble around like a drunken high school girl on its way to ineptitude. But your defense is supposed to carry you to wins despite having a mediocre quarterback that can’t even outplay this class of rookies in his third year. Besides, I have to start somewhere, so I might as well go for the jugular. (more…)

Mike: Forget what I said last week. My hatred for the Patriots, and the entire entity that is New England, far exceeds my love of predicting games correctly. Praise the Tiki-Wiki Gods of Football! And before you even think to close your response to this with a “Fuck you,” let me just say, “No, Nick. Fuck you.”

Whereas I thought bye weeks were boring because I had to listen to Rich Cimini break down the pros and cons of sleeping past 9:00 AM on a weekday for a team’s psyche, I now know that this was probably the best week of football yet: the Jets didn’t lose, their players weren’t hurt, and Tom Brady closed the game getting sacked, stripped of the football, and downed for a safety. I will sacrifice 7,000 unworn (read: virgin) UGGs to honor the Tiki-Wiki Gods and then commit mail fraud by intercepting all of Brady’s residual checks that come from my spending spree on UGG boots. I hope Brady is so flaccid after this Sunday’s beat down at Heinz Field that he can’t even get it up for a cheer-me-up bone with his goddamn supermodel wife.

Ah, but I digress. There’s another game this weekend, is there not? I should probably – PATS SUCK! – write about that game and give a prediction. Giants at Foxboro. This is a big test for Big Blue and a big test for TV commentators who want to make a big deal out of the possibility of the Pats losing back-to-back to an “Against the Odds” New York Football Giants team. Oh, and it’s a Super Bowl rematch – how did that one turn out again? (more…)